Sunday, August 23, 2009

Struggling to gain control...I'm still hanging in there!

I'm struggling how to put my feeling with our life style into words. Over the past several months I have not used the blog and the resources to explore this lifestyle as much as Kb7 has, I figured that's his job doing his homework and keeping me updated since this was his idea in the first place.
I love and worship Kb7, my goal is to make him happy, fulfilling my end of this FLR, we have a long way to go, I'm not sure how far we have come as we seem to take one step forward and one large step back to the beginning all too often.
I have come to "prefer" the submissive edge to Kb7 over the vanilla Kb7, who wouldn't love a husband who has you sitting upon a pedestal catering to your every whim, and agreeing with everything you say without a question. These moments are only for very brief periods before Kb7 reverts back to himself. Don't get me wrong, the vanilla Kb7 is what I fell in love with to begin with, but someone better has come along so to speak. I have fallen out of love with the vanilla Kb7 and fell very much in love with the new life I have with Kb7. The issue I am having with the FLR is why we need to change to our everyday life to have Kb7 behave this way, why can't he just be the caring worshipping husband without any strings attached.
I am having fun with lifestyle I have become committed to, I wonder if we can continue on with this forever, what will happen to us if we can't...I have my fears that I may not be as happy in love. Kb7 wants this life style but isn't fully committed, though he is updating the blog and doing a lot of networking with others, there is still a lot of resistance, and like Kb7 has admittedly confessed it seems to be on his terms.
A saying comes to mind, "If it isn't broken why fix it" I was happy with our relationship before Kb7 approached me with his desire to be in a FLR, I wonder if I may not be the one Kb7 is the most suited for, perhaps I should be doing more to support this decision. I don't know where to start. Too much to think about, just getting back from holidays again and have tons to do..
Seriously, something that seems to be so simple isn't coming that natural for us. Moving forward, I am looking forward to report much more progress when Kb7 and I get a chance to sit and review his homework....more to follow.


subservient-husband said...

Mrs. Lo7,

wow you and my wife seem to have tons in common with this dynamic change. I swear, what you wrote above could of easily been said from her as well.

Not sure if there is anything I can add, as I am on the wrong side of the fence, but if you want my wife's view on anything, feel free to post on my blog and she will respond.

best wishes.


Anonymous said...

It is rough to get a FLR started. I urge you though, not to give up. I would have a serious discussion with Kb7. I would find out why he is not responding with 100% commitment on his part. There is a reason. And then I would figure out a way to reinforce his submissive side.

He brought this up to you for a reason. Because he has a deep seated NEED for this. It will not just go away. It will always be there. He can bury it for a while but it will never be gone. This is the man you fell in love with. He has had these feelings all along. And you CAN do this. Both of you can.
Relax and have fun with it.

I urge you to come by my forum and talk to some of the women and men on it. They are amazing and can help a lot. You are always welcome to contact me also.

Sensual Femdom said...

I know the transition from a traditional relationship to a FLR is difficult. Please keep in mind, however, that this is what he asked for. It is great that you are enjoying his submissive side! FLR's require lots of communication. Talk to him about how you are feeling, and how you are disappointed in him. Kat is right about reinforcing his submissive behavior as well!

What I expect you will learn very quickly is that it would be very difficult to return to a traditional relationship. j and I had several stumbling blocks initially, and several times thought about 'turning back' so to speak, but found it nearly impossible. A FLR with challenges and struggles is better than a smooth and happy traditional relationship.

Ladyof7 a veiw from the top said...

Thank you all for the encouragement and support, I will definately accept the invitations into your forums and chat with other women in my role.