Friday, September 4, 2009

What the heck?

With anything new you have ups and downs! We are both so pleased with our feedback from subs and dommes who can relate to the struggles getting this lifestyle going and to keep it going. We have discovered it isn't always easy and doesn't come as naturally as we had anticipated, it encouraging when we receive feedback from all of you others share the same bumps and hurdles as we do.
To be honest I had to have Kb7 explain what sub, dommes and FLR all meant, so you can imagine what a "virgin" I am to this, and I do use that word loosely!
I have recently joined a forum, I am just feeling my way before I ask to bring up a topic to discuss, like any new relationship or friendship I always like to take it slow and easy and not be too pushy. Kind of hypocritical for a woman who is trying to gain control of her man!
With denial comes other struggles, the longer I deny Kb7 the more attentive he becomes, the more he listens and realizes his position and role in our lifestyle. Its all good until we come to SEX...I am finding too much denial leads to Kb7 being so sensitive to my touch that he is like a firecracker just ready to explode. Like an adverse reaction, I deny, I have Kb7 under my complete control..spanking, licking, sucking, anal penetration (he just loves my strap on), I let kb7 know well in advance with strict orders that he is not permitted to cum, he must wait yet another night, possibly a week and it all depends on how well behaved he is. NOT, he has cum that last several times.
My question is, how do I punish him, denial doesn't seem to be working that well. Here is the good part, when I question Kb7, he tells me that I should have stopped, I shouldn't have kept sucking and licking, so the blame is on me. I don't get upset, I have to find some humor in the situation, its' all good. But what the heck!?
I will let anyone know what forum I have joined if you would like to have input and are sharing the same struggles.


subservient-husband said...

I like the firecracker analogy. For us, penetration is when my wife wants and for as long as she wants. She knows if I have been denied several days, I will have to pull out often. The solution is a release 20-minutes or so before and then I can pretty much keep going until she says stop. After she says stop, I am automatically on a 7 day denial to let the privilage of making love to her sink in. It also allows me to fully understand that making love is something for her pleasure, not mine.

Anyway, that is what works for us. Increased denial does lead to increased sensitivity, for sure.

Ladyof7 a veiw from the top said...

I appreciate your feedback, only a man can truly explain how ultra sensitive denial can be. Having said that, the more frequently we have sex the less sensitive Kb7 becomes.


honestpower said...

Here's what I, a submissive man, have discovered. The secret to true punishment is to apply it immediately after your sub has orgasmed. If you manage a ruined orgasm all the better, but the point is that after we come we are least interested in all this submission that's been obsessing us. Any punishment is felt as true punishment instead of some titillating reinforcement of our position.

Ladyof7 a veiw from the top said...

True enough, after orgasm neither are as interested in denial. Punishment needs to be consistent, I need to shake it up a little as well.